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About Varied / Hobbyist TheSilhouett3Female/United Kingdom Group :iconliterature-united: Literature-United
 
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Literature
Blank Blank Blank
I want to talk without talking, I want to feel without a nagging sense of losing. It’s the sensation that makes me believe I’m about to jump off a cliff, and still live.
Knowing eyes and knowing smile; I have none, you judge wrong. The moment I’m not needed, I’m thrown away like a used tissue; all worn. Knowing eyes and smile no longer called for or seen. Eventually even the face fades.
Calming sounds of night, do more to calm my fears. Do more to ease the tension in my joints. Cold breeze redden my cheeks and eyes enough, enough for them to notice once. Enough for them to see what I’ve become.
I hide without hiding. People walk past and I’m smiling whilst crying. Who knows the difference?  
Why can I no longer write? I stare at the screen and type. Blank. Blank. Blank. No backspace. Too much punctuation. Less rhythm and structure. When does this stop being a poem?
It’s late, and my eyes bleed. It was a long day, and tomorrow’s even
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Literature
Simple Company
Oh what a difference a hot water bottle can make,
in a king sized bed where only one will lay-
never willing to mourn over the empty space.
Instead, replacing it with a heated object
to radiate the warmth of a human’s presence.
As though someone with a fever may lay beside,
sleeping quietly without breathing;
a warm dead soul mate with no body parts.
Good enough, I’d guess, for a start.
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Literature
The Mercy Of Tears
I have not now the ability to cry, to express pain
I want to will my eyes to rain, but dust erupts and they ache
When smiles hurt my face their wetness is comforting
I remember I’m a human with the needs of a human.
When I was hollowed out to be made into an instrument,
I realised I was going against myself and my nature,
Now I only want my tears, to release that pain
And show me that I’m still sane.
The crack of something appearing not so deep,
The hour of vulnerability and water drops forming rivers,
When curled into a small ball I lay- under a blanket,
Face in hands, hands shaking, eyes flooding
Chest heaving, pulse raging, heart breaking
A kind of fear or sorrow- or something of the sort-
Too gripping to let a sob loose
After seconds, minutes or even hours of release
Follows a sweetly soundless - but only temporary- sleep.
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Literature
Purposefully Untitled
I used to miss those,
Moments missed,
Silent and violent thoughts that I couldn’t list -
Blinded me so,
that words couldn’t identify.
I could see,
but I was yet blind in more than one eye.
My trouble was that there were none to surround -  
No playful gesture, or talk, or sound
As silly as I may have been,
as silly as I am now -
Nothing will come past me and a vow.
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Literature
Broken Smiles
Broken smiles and empty hellos
Beneath my skin, a soul bellows
Not too loud, but not too quiet
Yet enough for thoughts in mind cause riot.
Broken smiles and perfect skin
Opening up and crying is treated as sin
Hope filled sighs and dangerous intimacy
Nourish a part of me unconditionally.
Broken smiles and temporary moments,
And me thinking you’re my only component.
But most of all, that broken smile
The one that keeps me hidden for a while.
The layer of protection I always seek
If only there was something to make it complete.
(:
:iconTheSilhouett3:TheSilhouett3
:iconthesilhouett3:TheSilhouett3 6 10
First cover (Experimentation) by TheSilhouett3 First cover (Experimentation) :iconthesilhouett3:TheSilhouett3 0 0 A book of bad endings- COMING SOON TO WATTPAD! (: by TheSilhouett3 A book of bad endings- COMING SOON TO WATTPAD! (: :iconthesilhouett3:TheSilhouett3 1 0
Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 9
9. Secrets released beside the fire.
***Nina***
“Do you seriously have any psychic gifts?”
I grimaced. “Yes.”
“I knew it!” He laughed. “So…you can just read people’s minds whenever you want?”
I shuffled on the spot a bit; I hated being asked questions to which the answers were complicated.
“Well, yes but I choose to respect people’s privacy so I only read them if I need to, or if people think ‘loudly’ I pick up on those thoughts without meaning to.”
Leo nodded slowly as I spoke.
“Is that what’s been happening, every time you answer to something we think instead of say?” He asked.
“Yea.” I continued. “I never realise that it’s a thought sometimes, because it sounds like the thought holders voice.”
He changed his position on the log again; which made me think that we’d end up talking for longer than an hour or that he had a list of
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 8.5
“Are you alright? You know I’m sure you won’t get into trouble for this…” Nina asked, sensing Leo’s worry, but he seemed too busy lost in his own thoughts to reply.
Leo felt a sharp tug at his soul; he had been acting like Kyle was his close acquaintance, when in fact, Kyle was responsible for Hope's death. He felt as though he should have remembered her at the start of the month, but he was just too absorbed by the other realities …he had no time. No time for his own flesh and blood little sister. His heart sank further and he wiped his eyes subtly.
“Leo?”
The least he could have would be to avenge her death somehow, like he’d promised. Fangs slid down from their resting place as he looked over at Kyle. Leo was able to hear his heartbeat, and every breath he took, which was suddenly a breath too many. A voice broke Leo’s trail of thought suddenly. “Leo?” He was startled, fangs sliding back up as quietly as p
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 8
8. Midnight under the stars.
***Nina***
It was quiet outside the tent and the camp fire was the only reason I could see the three men. Even though I knew they wouldn’t hurt me I was too afraid to move so I simply lay in the same position on my left side until it ached. How could I pretend I had not seen what I just saw?
‘What would they do if they find out I knew?’  
I took a deep breath and just then I heard Leo crawl in. With a startled jump, I quickly pretended to be woken from slumber.
“Did you get a good rest?” he asked quietly, probably realising that I hadn’t slept at all. I cleared my throat and replied: “Yes, I did. Thank you.” with a small smile.
His tensed forehead eased a little but his eyes were overcome by disbelief.
“Are you hungry?” he whispered slowly, wondering why I was so flustered.
“Definitely, is there any food?”
“We’ve just prepared it, are you going to wake N
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 7.5
******
When Leo realised they’d been walking for 6 hours, he was beginning to wonder when they were actually going to meet a river, or a mountain. He was told there were only small ones around, but as far as he knew, they hadn’t crossed one.
“So Kyle, you know where we’re going right?”  Leo asked, after being silent for a while.
“Of course I do! I’ve been here many times.” Kyle seemed sure but he still looked very confused about something. Leo was beginning to think they were lost. “When was the last time you were here?” he quizzed.
“Ummm, two years ago, I think.”
All Leo could do was hope that Kyle’s memory was as good as Kyle seemed to think. Damien and Leo made eye contact immediately and he whispered: “Does he really know where we’re going?”
“I don’t think so.” Leo whispered back. Damien smiled. Then jogging forward, he caught up with Kyle so that he could ask for
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 7
7. Lost
******
“Who’s Linda?” Nina came up from behind Leo with those perky ears of hers. ’And I thought I was whispering to myself!’ he chuckled, not knowing what to say.
“She’s a, not-so-popular work colleague…”
“Right, I know what you’re talking about…she’s one of those nosey annoying ones that seem to turn up unexpectedly and mess up your social life.” Nina understood well.
“Exactly!” Leo huffed, already getting frustrated with Linda’s presence, even though she could have been anywhere in the warehouse and she technically wasn’t even beside him.
“What’s Linda doing here?” Kyle questioned.
“She’s your sister…Shouldn’t we be asking you?”
“I don’t track her movements.”
“Well, you should, she’s a danger to the public!” Leo joked, a little too harshly.
“Even if she’s as an
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There's just something about Leo (cover #3) by TheSilhouett3 There's just something about Leo (cover #3) :iconthesilhouett3:TheSilhouett3 17 0
Literature
Chapter 6.5
***Nina***
“Well, we’re thinking of going hiking.” I smiled. “It was my idea!”
Damien’s face was drained of its entire colour as his gaze flickered from Leo to Kyle, and back to Leo again. “And…” he said slowly; his eyes still wondering between Kyle and Leo. “Your grandfather completely allows this?”
“Yup” I chirped “Why? Is there something wrong?” I cocked my head to the side, letting them know that I had figured something was going on.
“No,” He paused, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go hiking…”
I blinked at his response, ‘I thought it was considered wrong for my Grandfather to agree to let us go hiking…it wasn’t the fact that I wanted to go hiking that was bothering Damien.’
Then Leo cut in. “As soon as we finish, we should get going.” He mumbled, looking down at his watch.
“Agreed.” Kyle muttered
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 6
6. Losing Formalities
***Nina***
As we came out of the lift, Leo ended his call, greeted my grandfather and stated the plans for the day. My grandfather’s car was parked in the same spot as yesterday, but the whole place seemed different. I figured it was because we’d arrived at night and now the morning sunlight made everything seem bright and saturated with colour. Even the sky seemed too perfect; not a cloud contaminating the perfect blue hues. Cherry blossoms were being whisked around in little whirlwinds and I stared as they danced from one side of the block to another. A breeze was sweeping through energetically, but it was already getting humid. The other agent; Kyle was on a motorbike behind the car we were going to travel in.
“We’ll make sure we’re back by nightfall…” Leo trailed off. “Unless something happens-“
“And if something does happen, you contact mestraight away!” my granddad interru
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Literature
There's Just Something About Leo: Chapter 5.5
***Nina***
We sat down at the table and ate our buns silently until he spoke. I adjusted my loosely wrapped scarf and made mental notes on what he said about the cupboards and drawers. Since I had a habit of late night snacking, I needed to know where everything was in case I got lightly peckish.
“So, have you made up your mind about hiking?”
“Yes, I definitely want to go hiking…as long as we’re allowed” I swallowed.
“Done it before?”
“Only when I was really small; it was with my dad.”
Leo nodded; probably realising that it must have been some time ago.
Then he ran his hand through is hair and bit his lip. He seemed to have recovered from yesterday’s ‘migraine’, but also seemed like his mind was in two places.
“Something wrong?”
He hesitated. “As much as we’d love to take you, I’m still not sure if your grandfather will let you go, even when Kyle, Damien and I are with you
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Commissions

Paisley borders, or centre motifs
Neat black pen sketch. The one on the left is an example of a quarter of a border

I'll make them within 3 weeks depending on my situation....many more examples to come :)

Activity


I hate looking at old photos...the nostalgia hurts xD
I'm not sure how long I can keep lying
I haven't been around a lot lately because of other priorities and it seems as though when I do, its negative! that's really terrible, so I'll tell you the truth. I have been away because of intense studying that didn't give me the time to create anything, and when I did, my creations were private...for someone special. I fell so hard for him and in the process I weakened both of us. Maybe he'd say it's all in the past and that it doesn't matter but to me...it lingers. It's a mix of pain and hope, hope because I think we can start over, because we're more mature, because we know each other really well now and we know each other's faults/strengths, but pain because I turned him into someone broken, with no ability to decide or take risks anymore. in the beginning I was the cynic, I was the one that was critical, I was insecure...and he never gave up on me. He made me feel confident and loved, he was so strong and so hopeful... it makes me cry every time I think about how that's changed, and that's my fault....that's the damage I did! It's been almost 2 wonderful years, even though the past few months I hit depression because of medicine I was taking, I had so much anxiety, he was the only one I ranted to, opened up to... but he had his own problems and I was too caught up in mine to even realise. I didn't expect him to fix me, but I didn't expect to break him...now all I want is to be able to be near him (we're in different cities) and hold his face in my hands, tell him how sorry I am, how I promise I'll be stronger, how I'm getting better, how i'll try my best to fix everything even if it means he doesn't love me anymore. He came into my life and saw all my flaws and ignored them and still thought I was beautiful, he taught me how to love myself, how to be patient and thankful....but mainly, how to love. Without his faith in me I don't feel like I can go anywhere... when we talk I tell him I'm fine because I don't want him to feel bad. He lives alone, he doesn't mingle with friends...and I don't have their contact details...I just wish I could know how he really is doing, because I don't know, although I do know he wouldn't tell me if he's struggling...probably because he'd not want me to feel bad.

It's my fault I rushed into telling him that we needed to go on a break, because for him it sounded like 'break up'. I should have chosen my words carefully, maybe met with him in person so i'd be able to elaborate instead of texting him...now the way he talks is so different to before...no nicknames, no emojis, he's closed himself up and I don't want to force those walls down because he's protecting himself. I should have figured stuff out in my own head before saying anything to him...maybe we wouldn't even be in this situation. He didn't want me to call or skype either to explain things...and I don't blame him.

we both believe in God, and fate...and that ultimately, if we're meant to be...then we will find a way back to each other.
In the mean time, I don't think I can recover....but because he's everything to me I'll be there for him.





or maybe I should just leave him alone, and vanish so he can move on
he doesn't deserve a burden like me...
nobody does,
A small part of me wishes he'd never met me...he'd still be the same happy go lucky guy that believes in love
I messed up pretty bad you guys... and I'm not the only one paying the price
._.
I haven't been around a lot lately because of other priorities and it seems as though when I do, its negative! that's really terrible, so I'll tell you the truth. I have been away because of intense studying that didn't give me the time to create anything, and when I did, my creations were private...for someone special. I fell so hard for him and in the process I weakened both of us. Maybe he'd say it's all in the past and that it doesn't matter but to me...it lingers. It's a mix of pain and hope, hope because I think we can start over, because we're more mature, because we know each other really well now and we know each other's faults/strengths, but pain because I turned him into someone broken, with no ability to decide or take risks anymore. in the beginning I was the cynic, I was the one that was critical, I was insecure...and he never gave up on me. He made me feel confident and loved, he was so strong and so hopeful... it makes me cry every time I think about how that's changed, and that's my fault....that's the damage I did! It's been almost 2 wonderful years, even though the past few months I hit depression because of medicine I was taking, I had so much anxiety, he was the only one I ranted to, opened up to... but he had his own problems and I was too caught up in mine to even realise. I didn't expect him to fix me, but I didn't expect to break him...now all I want is to be able to be near him (we're in different cities) and hold his face in my hands, tell him how sorry I am, how I promise I'll be stronger, how I'm getting better, how i'll try my best to fix everything even if it means he doesn't love me anymore. He came into my life and saw all my flaws and ignored them and still thought I was beautiful, he taught me how to love myself, how to be patient and thankful....but mainly, how to love. Without his faith in me I don't feel like I can go anywhere... when we talk I tell him I'm fine because I don't want him to feel bad. He lives alone, he doesn't mingle with friends...and I don't have their contact details...I just wish I could know how he really is doing, because I don't know, although I do know he wouldn't tell me if he's struggling...probably because he'd not want me to feel bad.

It's my fault I rushed into telling him that we needed to go on a break, because for him it sounded like 'break up'. I should have chosen my words carefully, maybe met with him in person so i'd be able to elaborate instead of texting him...now the way he talks is so different to before...no nicknames, no emojis, he's closed himself up and I don't want to force those walls down because he's protecting himself. I should have figured stuff out in my own head before saying anything to him...maybe we wouldn't even be in this situation. He didn't want me to call or skype either to explain things...and I don't blame him.

we both believe in God, and fate...and that ultimately, if we're meant to be...then we will find a way back to each other.
In the mean time, I don't think I can recover....but because he's everything to me I'll be there for him.





or maybe I should just leave him alone, and vanish so he can move on
he doesn't deserve a burden like me...
nobody does,
A small part of me wishes he'd never met me...he'd still be the same happy go lucky guy that believes in love

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TheSilhouett3

Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United Kingdom
I'm just a girl, who's trying to live without breaking. Trying to heal without hurting anyone else, but it's too late...for now at least.


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psychic test, psychic development and psychic readings
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TheSilhouett3 has started a donation pool!
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12 month premium membership or at least three months and then some to pay people for commissions? But id love to get to the premium membership for a while! Theres so much i could do *starry eyes* please help me get there! :)

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Critiques


I dont do critiques very often but when i saw this...i couldn't take my eyes off it. Before i begin I'd like to say that i hope you fin...


First of all, Id just like to mention that this is my first critique and that I hope you think Im not being over critical. Starting wit...

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:iconazure-dragon-seiryu:
Azure-Dragon-Seiryu Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Happy birthday
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:iconmariicreations93:
MariiCreations93 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :)
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:iconms-manhunter:
Ms-Manhunter Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I can't believe that I never gave you a llama back... :( and happy belated birthday! :)
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:iconthesilhouett3:
TheSilhouett3 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
XD So sorry I haven't been here in ages so I guess I'm later than you are !
Thanks
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:iconmariicreations93:
MariiCreations93 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :D
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:iconpoisndartdragoon:
PoisndartDragoon Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2015   Writer
Heya. Just came here to say Happy Birthday.
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:icontoddntheshiningsword:
ToddNTheShiningSword Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hope it's okay to shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :megaphone:
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:iconthesilhouett3:
TheSilhouett3 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Ive only just logged on after SO LONG
thanks XD
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:icontoddntheshiningsword:
ToddNTheShiningSword Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
HEY!!!!! IT'S YOU!!!!!!!!!! WHOA! XD
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:iconthesilhouett3:
TheSilhouett3 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
YEA OMG I'm back from the dead
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